8 XXX : normalnudes

I'm counting calories so that I can lose 1.5 lbs a week, but I feel like it's going to take forever. My weight has gone up and down since puberty. I was 100lbs lighter before I got pregnant at 18, and got back down to 165lbs after giving birth. Then I got depressed and my OCD reared its ugly head and I turned to food to cope. For the last three years, I've hovered between 200-230lbs, and then gaining more earlier this year. I hate it. I'm constantly aware of my body, especially when I'm in public or out with my friends. I feel like my husband must not be very proud of me, though we do have a great sex life and that has never changed. I know what I need to do, and I'm doing it, but letting go of that abnormal emotional connection with food is going to be hard, and I know at this point, I will probably have some loose skin. But I'm sick of always feeling tired, feeling stiff, lacking confidence, etc.
Don't. Be proud of who you are. Next year you'll show the 'after' pictures, I'm sure.