8 XXX : Boobies

My stress has increased by 72.45 percent by the fact that I will never be able to squeeze those tits.
Man's daily stress is composed by 72.45% of need to squeeze boobs.
[Redacted]
The "study" was looking at breasts and it was sadly [debunked](http://www.snopes.com/humor/iftrue/breasts.asp)... but tell your gf whatever you want. There was another legend that [swallowing semen reduced breast cancer](http://web.mit.edu/zoz/Public/CNN-Fellatio.htm) rates. Also [debunked](http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/hoaxes/fellatio.asp).
I opened this next to my wife and sat amazed as I gazed upon your beautiful bosom. My wife looked over and said, damn... I'd like to lay my head on those dirty pillows too. I love my wife.
I wish I had boobs to squeeze
Well, yes, but then it goes back up again when she slaps you and the police come and arrest you.
Shared link to gf expecting it to be an article. Way too late realizing my mistake. Just sent picture of boobs. :-[
/r/science
It doesn't work if boobs are yours though