8 XXX : the family

When mom and dad are out of town, sis and I enjoy the master shower.

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With our parents always running around the house, it's sometimes hard to find time with my sister.

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She can't cook breakfast, but staying at my aunt's house does mean the best wake ups.

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When dad agreed to let my girlfriend move in with us, I didn't realize what the price would be.

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I keep telling my sister: she doesn't need to hit the gym for a good workout.

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After her boyfriend popped her cherry, my sister became a little freak around the house.

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Sis wasn't too mad that I used her master bath while she was out on some date. In fact, she said I could salvage the evening.

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Mom supervises every encounter with my girlfriend at the house. At least she tries to fit in.

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It turns out that confessing I was a virgin to my sister was the fastest way not to be one.

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"I'm not on the pill, daddy." I'm counting on it.

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As my sister knows, one does not simply come in my room in the morning, wake me up, and leave.

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Mom hasn't liked any of the girlfriends I've had, until I found one willing to share.

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From the first taste I knew my daughter would be good.

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Sis loves the breakfast nook(ie) in our new apartment.

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Pretty please, big brother? The real thing this time?

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"Finally, bro. You booked the room."

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All my chores for mom take place in the kitchen.

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Whenever I'm feeling down, my step-mother soothes me the best way she knows how.

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When my aunt says she's done with swimming for the day, I'm never far behind.

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My little bro was the only guy that could make me scream.

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I still remember the night my sister came home drunk and told me I wasn't going to be a virgin any longer.

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I just saw mom again for the first time in a month. And it showed.

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When sis catches you at the neighbor's house, but is actually chill af.

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Leave it to our older sister to spoil the mood.

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There's nothing wrong with a little motherly kiss in the morning.

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I caught my sister with her hand in the cookie jar.

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We always made the most of our parents going away.

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Mom made sure my sister didn't miss any part of the experience.

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It's a long wait for our bus every day, but sis and I find ways to pass the time.

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Sis doesn't know it yet, but today is the day.

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I should have known trouble was coming when I stopped hearing my sister and her friend giggle in the other room.

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My sister plans her dream wedding on Pinterest. I help her practice the wedding night.

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Mom throws on the old costume when she's feeling fierce.

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After hours in the library, my step-sister called desperate for a study break.

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Sis can make the dirties faces at me, even when her boyfriend is right there.

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Dad bought mom a beautiful necklace and camera for their anniversary. Too bad he had to cancel their plans at the last minute.

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Mom and dad think I'm a bumbling idiot at the dinner table. But it's my sister's fault.

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Just a little more sis, your work is almost done for the afternoon...

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When we were younger we'd sneak into the guest room so our parents couldn't hear.

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After her divorce, I tried to reassure my aunt that the single life had its benefits.

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After a year of living in the same house as my mom and aunt, a few accidents were inevitable.

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My sister still hasn't started paying her fair share of the rent, but she makes up for it in other ways.

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"You're the best big brother ever."

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At least when sis wants the remote, she asks nicely.

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Fresh from the Muslim world, my cousin desperately needed a primer on young American social activities.

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When my daughter got home from college she just had to show me the new things she'd learned.

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Now sis, did your friend agree to the threesome or not?

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My cousin is quite the ladies man, apparently even with my sister.

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After 10 years, they fired my mom as the local news anchor. Fortunately, her last day was also bring-your-sons-to-work day.

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Sis meets me the same way every morning in my dreams.

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